Home > Fun, Religion/Philosophy > Sh*t happens.

Sh*t happens.

Net onwitzeg:

Catholicism: If shit happens, see a priest.

Calvinist: It is God’s sovereign will as to when and if shit happens.

Methodist: Abstain from tobacco, alcohol and shit.

Episcopalian: Sometimes shit happens, and that’s okay, as long as it’s served with a good wine.

Lutheran: We don’t know when or if shit happens.

Fundamentalism: When shit happens, and it will, ask Jesus into your heart or burn in hell.

Seventh Day Adventism: Shit happens, just not on the Sabbath.

Quakerism: Shit happens silently.

Pentecostalism: Praise God for all this shit!

Arminian: Shit only happens because you let it happen.

Amish: We don’t worry about shit, but if it happens, we forgive it.

Evangelicalism: Ask Jesus to save you from all this shit.

Eastern Orthodoxy: Shit has always happened, we’ve always known about this shit, and though it may or may not happen elsewhere, we know shit happens here.

Unitarian Universalism: Shit’s all good.

Baptist: Shit happens, but you still aren’t allowed to dance.

Non-denominationalism: We’re just as confused about this shit as you are.

Jehovah’s Witnesses: Knock, knock, shit happens.

Mormonism: We alone know about the true shit.

::::::Extended Version::::::

Judaism: Why does all this shit happen to us?!

Atheism: There is no shit.

Nihilism: Who gives a shit?

Satanism: We love the shit.

Buddhism: The shit is only an illusion.

Hinduism: Everyone’s shit is the same shit.

Zen: Become one with the shit.

Jainism: Don’t harm the shit.

Agnosticism: What shit?

New Age: This shit is cosmic.

Rastafarianism: Smoke this shit.

Neo-Paganism: We love the old shit better than the new shit.

Wicca: Do what you want, just don’t cause shit to happen.

Islam: Our shit is the only shit.

Baha’i: It’s really all the same shit.

New Thought: You can make this shit happen.

Taoism: This shit is everywhere.

Existentialism: Discover your own shit.

Rationalism: Do you understand this shit?

Empiricism: You don’t see shit, there is no shit.

Cartesianism: I doubt this shit happens.

Darwinism: Shit happens gradually.

Categories: Fun, Religion/Philosophy
  1. Chris
    April 11, 2008 at 10:58 am

    Eng vu ménge Matbewunnerinnen huet d’Poster un der Mauer.
    Déi sinn awer schon al – a Camden Town kriss de un all Eck sou T-Shirten ugedréit. (Respektiv krus, vu dass et jo ofgebrannt ass.)

  2. April 11, 2008 at 12:44 pm

    Also ech hu gelaacht bis ech op de läschten Punkt komm sin. Et ass onverzeilech Darwinismus als e Glaawen duerzestellen, et ass eng wëssenschaftlech Theorie, dat ass mutual exclusive.

  3. April 11, 2008 at 3:01 pm

    Dofir steet en jo ganz ënnen, den Darwinismus. 😉

    Och wann en al ass, et ginn ëmmer nach Leit déi en net kennen kannt hunn. Sou wéi ech.

  4. April 11, 2008 at 4:55 pm

    Ech hunn en och schon deelweis kannt, mee och schon rem villes vergiess … Ech fannen et einfach wirklech witzeg 🙂

    Darwinismus ass en effet keng Religioun, mee den Saatz passt awer.

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